With hearts full of joy I thank our Lord that from the time they called me and so far, I feel I have been blessed with the greatest gift that Jesus can give a man, to be Christ in the middle of people, something you can not put into words. It's so great my happiness, I need to get your love for others. If all we knew what he really loves us would end the suffering. Every morning I wake up I ask you to enter us to listen, to see, to feel his mercy. My motto priestly: you the tool to raise awareness of the infinite love of God . I remember one of my trainers told us that the Eucharist is the time when people we are more permeable to come to Christ, that the Mass was the culmination of our work. "Celebrate this Mass as if it were your first Mass, your last mass, your single mass." But he was also a duty to our parish that they see outside the walls of the church, the Lord reflected in us, that this work was achieved by our actions, our work and our devotion. Told us proud as a Sunday gatherings were held to a small town. After the Eucharist, he approached one of the parishioners to talk, an older man, those of beret and walking stick. A few minutes of conversation, this old man told him that no one saw his pastor and the parish priest, his parishioners felt their priest as the image of Christ on earth. That story touched me. What greatness of this brother and for me, the clear example to follow.
Yesterday marked two years since I was ordained priest, I fell on the floor to declare the lord of my life goal was to do his will. My parish is a prefabricated. I tell my parents, jokingly, that compared to the places where our Lord spoke, I trade in a cathedral. I think the biggest greatness of the Catholic Church is that with four poles and a roof as the house of our Redeemer. This place of prayer is found in a modern neighborhood of terraced houses with small gardens. Young couples form families dedicated to the style of our time worrying about filling their houses with the furniture and modern and affordable to their pocketbooks. Hardworking technology consumers who visit the offices of the banks to ask for the weary and heavy borrowing that will join them for a while that entity as earthly. Banks of shame I can not do it through a couple of donations from two of them I have parish. My job is to in each of these homes have a place for a crucifix and a hole on the shelf for a Bible. At first hardly anyone did not come to church. Now, thanks to the fellowship, I have managed to children of catechetical approach their parents to my holy place. I know that my struggle is hard because I keep my sheep following the conclusion of the ceremony and, by themselves, realize that the church is his true home. I do not want sin of vanity, but thank God I'm getting. Although in reality my job is not difficult. Who can deny Jesus when you've known?
Today is a day of great happiness. I prefabricated doors to await the arrival of my children. We will hike to the seminary where I studied. Here I will present my classmates and my teachers. The first living with my own herd.
I am very meticulous and now, in the light of dawn, mentally reviewing the activities performed. In a while there will be a brother to replace me in the Eucharist and I hope that at a time when the coach is present to bring us to the seminar. How slow time passes in moments. Take this opportunity to say a prayer. How beautiful is the word God, and privacy, as those words resonate inside. I tell my kids that a Hail Mary devoutly prayed louder than a rock concert.
A voice interrupted my prayer. Fran is one of the catechists who will communion this year. It is planted in front of me and comes from the hand of an older man, an old man just gasping for air. Sure it's his grandfather and the grandson has brought to the race. No house to live in France because he did not know. I greet the little stroking his hair. The tired old man is still breathing but shakes his head in greeting.
- This child ... We have been running since we left your house and asking for everything. I told my lungs, or catch breath to answer air to run or catch ... Good morning, I am the boy's paternal grandfather, my name is Paco.
He gives me the hand that grabbed with gusto. I hereby invite to sit on a bench inside. The man smiles and rejects my invitation.
I have always been full of tenderness picture formed by a grandparent and a grandchild. The one, the nearest law to find eternal life with the Savior, and the other, getting to know the way of Christ. I think sometimes the Lord looks at us like a proud grandfather to his grandchildren. I know that my thoughts are a dare. He is our father. But why not give yourself that pleasure? Sure.
- Makes good day for a trip .- I said after looking at the sky. In his expression there are concerns. Want to talk but do not know how to start the conversation. From his mouth a couple of vague sentences, and to my surprise, something fearful.
In my little experience as a person attending is asked to confessions and giving spiritual advice and worldly, I discovered that in his tone of voice, the parishioner somehow wants to break the thin line that separates the banality of the floor to the depth of the soul, not knowing how. It tells Fran to go to the meeting room to wait for the rest of his colleagues, seeking a piece of paper and some paints to be entertained for a while. I invite you again to grandfather to enter and sit on a bench. The old access and passes in front of me. And after letting it sit and get used to the modest temple, choose the question to break the ice.
- Why not have been the child's parents? Would any of their siblings are sick? -
inspires Man in the air to find the necessary strength. His fingers are agitated and nervous, not looking me in the eye, focuses on my clerical collar.
- His parents have not come because I've convinced them that they did not. I want to talk to you alone for a topic that is very important to me.
I gently indicated that the house of the Lord is the best place to tell the important things. My stomach shrinks slightly when she noticed a look of disdain at the elderly.
- How old are you?
I answer just turned twenty-seven. We must look very young to be your partner and the silence lasts briefly. The old man without face my eyes began to speak.
- I have tried since the birth of my child away from the church and by the time we lived I did it without much difficulty. Is named, was born under the regime of dictator, but when did the fellowship he had already died, the church still had too much power. My son just spent time with priests. She never set foot in a temple. Later he fell in love with a young parish. With women and men in this world, I do not know why they joined. By virtue of his wife is now married blessing Papal included. His wife got to come into the church. At least I have the consolation that during his childhood was far from you. If today has become a wimp is a matter of him blessed. It is ironic that the religious fervor that woman only comparable to the momentum of her moans when she is with my son in bed.
My confusion is terrible, I turn to the Lord that I helped. Of course, from the moment I became a deacon and began clerical collar, I had to listen to some more or less rude insults on the street. Already warned us our trainers and sobering to follow the example of the Lord and the Saints. Teach us to grow in adversity and to fight from the faith. But the words of this man and the cold sincerity with which the transmitted, I wonder if my lack of experience or because I was caught off guard, they broke over me.
not let him continue and try to suppress his words gently but firmly. We are in the house of the Lord and I can not tolerate such a taunt. For a moment thought pops in my face and body of the mother of Fran and quickly only think of the ardent faith that good Catholic.
The old man apologized and unbearable silence me.
- My duty as a priest is to listen and I think you have not done just begun to talk. The only thing I ask is to please be respectful of the place where you are. You can prime you to shock at the cost of my youth and inexperience. Accept what I want to tell, but please please be respectful.
The old man relaxes and again I apologize.
"I lost my father just five years. Now I have sixty-seven. I do not remember anything about him, nothing. But what will never forget the people and the institution that tried to take his place. I lived in a village and, shortly after my father died, my mother had to go, recommended by the priest, to serve the capital of our province. I was sent to the capital of orphans to school my father's profession. I respect you speak. That school was as big as grim. The priests who were responsible for educating made me hate everything about God and his church. Before going to bed wondering if we were to die that night where we go, whether to heaven or hell. The terror was the main weapon of indoctrination. Why ask me if I die tonight where would you go ? More than once I knew hell when one of them woke me up and took me down the hallway stroking, looking frightened as the male member of that pig is closer to my mouth hardened. A hard that I was subjected to blackmail cover those atrocities. One of them scared me saying that if he sinned by telling what we did, would not see my mother. We were orphans, do you understand cure? Orphans! Most helpless beings who can be on earth. The terror that any adult can suffer is infinitely smaller than the horror felt by a child. I think the Nazis were better with the kids that made the gas chambers that those priests with us. Those soldiers despised those who thought they were inferior and removed directly. To us, the same people who speak of the love of our Lord, that we were raped. Of course they were not all, but even the kind needed to know what was happening. So covering up the rest. The power of the church was greater than their God as they grew, not forgive or forget, we had dedicated. One day I saw something amazing, one of my classmates who lived in capital appeared with his brother, as he told us, a wrestling champion. The Champion course approached one of the most sadistic of those priests and saw, with great astonishment of our lives, as he released two hosts that lay on the ground. From what he told the young man lying cockroach that I recorded a phrase "Damn butches, I'll kill you if you ever touch them." Since then that priest never slackened with us and I admired wrestling champions. This story has it been for me a secret until now because I've come to feel ashamed of what had happened to me, is very common in rape victims. In fact, when I found some old school mate have spoken always omitting its most cruel. A taboo that we have never wanted to break. Like I said, thanks to changes in our country, I walked away from his church and so did my family. My son has married a blessed and I have not dared to say anything. I still give you fear. But when I learned that my grandson was coming to church, I felt obliged to come here.
The man looks at me menacingly.
"As a priest dares touch this child's hair, I swear before the crucified Christ who is there to kill him. I know that times have changed, but you do not. They follow the same rules, their sins are the same and all are still unable to fuck. That's bad, very bad. Do you see a priest? We were kids, those kids monsters attacked.
I had to sit down because my legs will not hold. In the man's weathered face clearly see the terror of a helpless being, an infinite burden borne along life. While I struggle to do so, I can not mourn. I need strength to speak. The silence in the church is broken with my whine.
- Don Francisco, the seminar talk in depth several times about this atrocity. Our spiritual director, we asserted that those actions were tumors in the body of the church and that we should remove them if it wanted to have it extended to the point of converting to Catholicism in a plague condemned the desecration. I say again, openly advised us to leave the seminar, although it was a terrible sin, homosexuality was socially accepted, that sex without being married and was either normal, at the foot of the mountain where our seminar, people placed in strangers' cars to have all kinds of relationships which more depraved. Crossed themselves when we repeat that, while sentencing him, we could lose those cars to vent our carnal passions. But if we did not we were to enter the door of the seminar. The church, more than ever needed delivered and pure fishing. When they entered completely in the Lord, we would know that most sublime pleasures offered by the sad flesh. That person showed us that the lack of sex is not a hardship but a liberation -.
The old man look at me. My words do not work for this man to redeem us from a big injury.
- Cure, I have heard speeches pedophile accompli, that condemned to eternal fire all types of acts or sexual thoughts. The most twisted made us feel sinful because in the eyes of the Lord were our bodies those tempted to commit sin. Sons of bitches! Above we were the culprits. His church has two competing theories on the one hand the salvation, peace, love, on the other hell, guilt, punishment. His church has a single practice, the power. The power generated impunity beasts that although Pope apologize one one million times, never stay acquitted.
hurt me hateful words of this man into a whole, because of a few negligible.
- I, nor any of the priests I know belong to that group of monsters, as you call them and humanely acknowledge his reason. The family of the Catholic Church is very large, as in any group there are bad apples. That disgusting pedophilia as much or more rejection you, unfortunately is widespread in all environments, not only rots the clergy. In the two thousand years of the church have been saints and dark characters. At this point I remember the first Pope John XXIII, which after the Council of Constance was accused by the church itself of piracy, murder, rape, sodomy and incest and was sentenced to three years in prison. This criminal sent to the stake to John Huss, although preached ideas that our church does not approve, was a man who fought against the corruption of the church. Pope John Paul II admired, even disagreeing with many of his ideas, his moral courage in adversity. For Worldwide, thousands of priests and religious who are giving their lives for others in the worst situations imaginable. These people are also church. From my point of view further magnify the Lord's work. Be clear that, even if you think of us as you want, Jesus loves you, I ask you not deny him. Do not blame the death on the Cross of the deadly sins of those critters.
The two are tight. Fran's grandfather has regrouped and is seen more impressive, is not the same as came panting. Sitting on the bench, but at a safe distance, we have Christ crucified as a witness. Keep low voice volume so that the child does not listen. The man looks at me again and starts talking.
"Good words conceal the worst stocks. I do not trust either of you, or any of their own. These passions only stop in front of a wrestling champion. The threat that I have done is true, do not forget.
makes a gesture to get up but I start talking and stop.
"You confessed to me a terrible secret and I'll tell you something that only my spiritual director know about me. When I was fourteen, still feeling a religious fervor far above the rest of my friends also felt the sting of my youth ever let me be carried away by the ecstasy of that heat. Once in the bathroom of my house was committing the sin of masturbation, masturbating while smoking a cigar. I had the bad luck that the glow of that cigarette fell on my glans and I would produce a minor burn. It hurt, but I thought that was the punishment received for my sin. So my penance was to stoically endure. So long endured that pain when the doctor looked at me with a terrible fever and unbearable pains, could not do much with that penis infectado. Físicamente no podría cometer ningún crimen de ese tipo, pero le aseguro que jamás osaría hacer daño, no a un niño, a nadie. Amo a Jesús y ese es un concepto que usted, por su trágica vivencia, ahora no puede entender. Si yo me enterase de que cualquier conocido mío, seglar o religioso, hiciese daño a un niño, no lo permitiría, le acusaría ante la iglesia y en los juzgados, y si la iglesia intentase tapar tal daño, me enfrentaría a ella como Juan Huss, aunque ardiese en la hoguera-.
Enfrentamos nuestras miradas durante unos segundos. El viejo se levanta indicándome que va a despedirse de su nieto. Let me just before our Lord. The thoughts haunt me and ask the Creator how could you have let's honor those who have more power on earth, who have to spread their message, have done so much damage to the most helpless beings. I believe in free will and I is insufficient. Only the final opinion, the fairest view of history, we put everyone in the place we deserve.
Therefore the wicked will not prevail at trial
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous
known as Yahweh the way of the righteous
but the path of sinners just wrong.
appear the child and the old hand. Grandpa kisses his grandson on the cheek and he delivers. Goodbye to me and before heading out the door, turns around and tells me gravely.
- Cura, I do not trust. So going with eye -.
