On this summer night, when the flushing shakes me like a loose bundle in an old ship dragged by the storm. Fled out of bed without waking my wife and I head to the terrace to watch the sea. At this time, although it remains quiet, absent and accessory, recovery for relief. A new building acts as a giant pirate patch that I cover part of the vision, dividing the frame into two. A dirty stain that until two years ago was one of the few open spaces of hotels in this coastal city.
hotel manages to avoid the floodwaters concentrating on the beach. Artificial lights that violate the privacy of the gentle waves at night. I am not satisfied this vision and look for the darkness that lies far away. My contact with the sea is summer, I think the relationship I have with it is the most despicable. I'm an intruder in their waters, an upstart of the season, which violates every year with their children's inflatable mattress possessions of Neptune.
Closing his eyes, I found a few miles in the breeze I need and given silence. My physical remains convicted in a terrace leaning over the railing. Sweat soaked my forehead, a whiff of fried fish with perpetual engine noise Car betray the human environment in which I stand. However, thanks to my thoughts and I'm not there. The darkness surrounds me and give me ten meters so that ten thousand because everything is black. Game with different locations, now I hear the slight water hammer in my wooden boat, now my body in the position of the dead no sound rocks on the ocean, float now lying within inches of the surface on my skin appreciating the slight current air that passes between my naked body and the extension bruna, breathing the scent of salt. The sea accepts inviting us to enjoy, however it gives me much confidence to speak to him in his female form. I also want to offer something, the best creation of humanity, a gift that will accept willingly; music. The instrument I choose is the piano and the melody that I offer is "If you are my love" by composer Kajiura Yuri. Thankfully, I slowly immersed. I have no fear because they do not need to breathe and I know what your intention. I adopt the fetal position again and relive the mother's womb. The temperature begins to fall gradually, notice that the comfort experience comes to an end. The sea is about to make childbirth and expel me so fast that I rise to great heights. Friction with the air is so violent that my body dry. When I stop and stay stopped for a moment. There is no heaven or a star, I do not see the sea on which I will finish crashing. The free fall begins, the stomach undergoes a constant tingling. I get scared thinking about the impact. When done, the ocean greets me with a whirlpool that absorbs shock and introduce myself back into being around. The climax of this relationship ends up being kicked out again, only this time my body rises soft, docile, exhausted, so relaxed that wiggles without any resistance. Outside'm lying face down, yet I do not need lungs. The bonus to this medium is such that you embrace.
The sound of a horn returns me to the terrace, in unbearable heat, sweat, ineffective, high-sounding conversations of tourists, the smell of fish fried. I do a lot from my desire and lack of vitality, pushing to win the first room. I saw old shorts, frayed. I wear a shirt so old that their holes show small areas of my body. My feet are protected with a pair of sandals doomed to the dustbin at the end of the summer. Before making my makeshift night on the beach, I say goodbye to my wife whispered in his ear the plan born of insomnia. She shakes her head slightly to the side of my words of my breath away. Then I go to the room of my sons, the eldest of six years and the youngest of three. Exhausted sleep after a hard day of baths and castles Sandy, I give them a kiss. At the entrance to pick up the keys next to the ID card. Neither
night
give the beach tattered truce. The same people that morning have been laying in the sand, now walk from one side to another trampling the ongoing work of thousands of years. The most arduous work of erosion of the planet we have allocated to leisure. We saturated the surrounding land with many buildings and their interiors have downloaded all our forms of recreation. A company that moves to live in the strange experience of cohabitation on holiday. My fantasy dream
minutes earlier, is buried under the rubble of noise and lights. I decide to escape to a quiet coastal portion knowingly of its remoteness. My long legs are allied with my intentions and accelerate the pace. Without a doubt know that the sea hates us. We are beings completely alien to their habitat, their customs, their essence. Although our origin and the oceans is so far into the sea while we repudiate. Its waters are salty so we can not drink it and still suck your blood and your body continually violate. Conquer your space with our bodies and our tiny little boats. We got rid of our most putrid waste spewing their costs and funding. As if vomitásemos an immaculate dress. All imaginable excesses represent them on their surface, in substance and in his bed. The man turned up the addiction to kill and be killed by other men has come to move her cruel hereby maca, depositing bodies in submerged sands.
I recall the biggest maritime tragedy in the history of mankind, the sinking of Gustlolff Willhem. " A "huge" by Hitler launched cruise for holiday use.
On January 30, 1945, at the end of World War II, the ship was used to evacuate more than eight thousand people, mostly women and children fleeing from East Prussia harassed by the "Red Army." In the frigid waters of the Baltic Sea, a submarine fired three torpedoes sinking the "Willhem Gustlolff" killing a number not less than seven thousand people.
Huyo brisk and humidity that comes with the sweating makes me reconsider for a moment if I'm doing is worthwhile. Then I stop to think. Why do you think? The environment I am addressing is a small cove of coarse gravel and sharp despised by the other tourists and reached by car through a sloppy way of earth and stones. Protected by two hills full of pine trees, hidden from the greedy eyes of the builders, a small bay, which has achieved for his surly face the crowd staying away free and lonely. Road to the beach until prevent me from doing the rocks that guard, unknowingly, the place I want to go. I was in among the pine trees behind me are far and illuminated buildings and the smell of resin impulsive confirms that this exodus has been a good idea. I think my wife and children something far away, my solace from loneliness, from this meeting with me. Finally I hear the sea without distortion. Under blind steep slope and finally the sea water touches my dusty sandals. My breathing inhaled mixtures of natural scents that I offer. Before retirement lie down thoroughly all sharp stones that could disturb me. Rest my body exhausted trying to take back my previous fantasy. It is not necessary, the reality is alive so suggestive that I breathe in deep relaxation. The night is dark and monochrome, sea, land, sky and shot a man who offers no resistance to the experience that happens, it is inserted as an object in place, accepted, without leadership, my figure lacks uniqueness. My mind produces thoughts that do not alter the exterior. I'm a pine over a stone, a wave, a wisp of breeze, a body the rest left voluntarily. With the same equality should ask the elements that I feel that the sea is diminished for a moment to become a solid body of muscles, bones and meat thoroughly sorted. The sea accepts the invitation, and although at first it feels strange and tiny just by amazed to overwhelm the complexity of a creature so small. It is inside us, our operation which is struck. The appearance of my skin and the human form does not say anything, it is my movement, my breathing, my metabolism, neural connections that fascinates him. The rudiment of the heart is pumping for sea something so haunting and for us the evolution of the waves and the center of my brain as mysterious as the deep-sea trenches. When you stop being a person, so much gratitude that gives me a huge wave that rises feet above me and before absorbing dragging stops. Before my eyes a foamy water sky by the darkness of the night it enjoyed to the fullest. The wave retracts and returns to his home without just get wet. A victorious smile reinforces this childish and innocent mischief and nonsense of a typical vacationer. My fantasies do not prevent me go slowly falling asleep. Just before I passed out that sleep does not last long, that something will be no rest before starting back to my family.
A kick in the side I wake up violently. Intense light from seeing me again as a foot beat again in the same place shrugging. These first two effects have been the opening of an unbearable beating, kicking a boil that can not save any space in my body and before you can itemize at some point my anatomy damaged several parts of me are still raped. This indeterminate group of savages, must be professional about the beatings because when I try to take up as little space as possible shrugging as a fetus, throw their feet with this aim that burst open my arms to the face, chest, liver, testes, thighs. Me being dressed in a shroud of Ostia. I never felt terror is giving invitations to my own death. Depending on where you hit sounds in a different way, yet my cries of agony not prevent me from listening as the orchestra director ordered to stop. Alert my ears perceive sound of the waves, my moans, boots on the ground. Everything tastes of blood and earth. In my mouth hanging pieces of teeth and gums do not think I belong. Tremble as if she had high fever and possibly so.
A group of people that I can not tell, me leaving free space around the sea. Time passes without further action. The light that illuminates us should be the focus of a great car, an SUV. I hardly think, I find anything that is related to life. I begin to mourn and bury me in my grief is deep bitterness because it is like that of my son. Physical pain is relieved by the pain of the soul is infinitely more poignant. My tormentors know my thoughts, my humanity, I do not know them, But unlike us, they never would have made a similar what they are doing with me. One of them shows me the sea
- Black, returns to Africa -. Until now I had not stopped to reconsider the reasons behind this crime. The color of my skin has been the trigger and cause.
think and praise to the blind that can not be racist. Violent again and I said pointing to the horizon - You, Africa! You, Africa! -. The fool thinks I do not know English, and wager a beating like the one I received, I have more vocabulary than him. Born in Spain and my parents were English all her life, a city of Equatorial Guinea Evinayong call. Before it ceased to be colony, my parents came to the peninsula.
- Tu, sea! Or ... thrashing thrashing. Threatening gestures with his arm to resume the beating. I wake up limping as I can and I go into the water. The group is behind me. The only detail that matters to me now my life is not never learned to swim. The wild laugh behind me and to my indecision begin to throw stones. I can not run and I have represented my country as an athlete. The very bastards do not know that all they are doing is letting me choose the type of death. The water stings me in the ankles that I bleed and the pain gradually more intense, especially in the chest. I notice my breath, but I prefer to drown rather than torture. In my survival inside a pulse discourages me speak, or to request clemency. When the water reaches the waist I stop throwing stones, only receive facile insults about the color of my skin.
think back on the Gustloff disaster. At the end of the war, the Red Army on the Eastern Front harassed the depleted German troops and the crowd of terrified civilians until they flee north towards the Bay of Danzig. The cruelty of the victors was bitterly famous for the thousands of people who desperately do not want to suffer in the flesh sadism stories that enveloped the Soviet soldiers. In the port of the Wilhelm Gustloff Gotenhafen hosted in his heart of steel to a number not less than nine thousand people, mostly women and children. When you sail the boat, nobody thought that the Soviet submarine S-13 would send the funds frozen Baltic Sea. Seven thousand people fleeing death led to death.
So I feel like now. My body beaten and lifeless just able to maintain stability in the gentle sway of the sea. My faltering steps away me from my tormentors slowly starting to get bored of my flight, but do not go thinking about the possibility of returning to them. - What's black? Do not you swim? Yells one of them encouraging laughter again. Tripping over a stone and I sink like a sack of sand. I rummage in the dark trying to straighten up, get out your head before returning to my upright position stops me an idea. If only the head sac and the rest of my body remains buried will be more difficult by the darkness and my color, find my location. These rogue if I had wanted to kill and would have done. They gave me the opportunity and I should not waste it. Scraping the bottom of the empty bag of my energy get crumbs looking for strength to walk the dark, a place where the lights of the car did not come to light. I have just lucky that the depth does not increase. Still, I'm getting dizzy and chest pain becomes unbearable. Pang breathing shaking my chest is getting more intense. Squat half way and before me, the ocean gives me no hope. - Black, bold Where are you? The phrase I am encouraged, I do not see. They approach the shore to throw stones in the dark. My optimism increases to hear that the stones fall relatively far from me. One of them proposes to bring the car to the side to see better. But the spectacle of lynching a human being begins to decline and in fact are satisfied of their game. Proposed that will turn around after smoking a cigarette. That makes taking snuff in their pockets, I see the flames from their lighters. My left ankle is torn apart igual que un palo seco y el suplicio se hace tan intenso que comienzo a desvanecerme, aunque una fugaz imagen de mis hijos en la cama sirve como acicate para no hundirme en el fondo. Los verdugos hablan en un tono alto, gallos que planean su marcha a un prostíbulo. Aún me da tiempo a sentir lástima por las pobres mujeres que tendrán que acostarse con ellos. Seres humanos generando sufrimiento a otros seres humanos y el mar con el que he soñado, testigo de este atropello. Al escuchar el sonido del motor alejándose comienzo la carrera más importante de mi vida. Yo, que en mi juventud había ganado pruebas de velocidad, que había conocido la sensación del interior de mi pecho ardiendo y el corazón latiendo con toda su ansia. Ahora slower than a hundred and fifty years old, try to get to the mainland with the clear thought that even achieving my goal, my body will die on that beach gravel. I have time to thank the sandy seabed is because otherwise I would have been impossible to move. When I can use my hands to move around, get knocked me crawling up the shore. At the time I leave apologizing to my wife and children and close my eyes to die.
hear the sound of many voices in a language not understood. I can only open one eye to receive a final surprise. A small boat anchor just beside me and a group countless women and men of color of my skin jump on it for huir en todas las direcciones. Más carnaza para los asesinos. Pierdo el conocimiento acompañado por el sonido de la sirena de un coche de la Guardia Civil.
Vuelvo a nacer en la cama de un hospital, a mi alumbramiento asisten mi mujer y mis dos hijos y al fondo, tras la ventana, un mar eterno y azul.
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